Airing of grievances

“Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.” — Henry Ford

If a disproportionate number of the conversations you have with people involve complaining or highlighting things you don’t like, it might be wise to consider either accepting the things you can’t change, changing the things you can, or both.

Stress is caused by trying to have power over things that are beyond your control.”

Whatever the case, unless you are explicitly invited to express your ongoing dissatisfaction with people, places, or events in your life and have a goal of working through and solving your problems, there’s a very good chance no one actually enjoys listening to you complain.

Learn to let go of the things you can’t change and move on.

Inner Peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”

It’s remarkable what better things there are to focus on and talk about when you remove the habit of complaining from your routine.

Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” — Rita Schiano

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From the comments:

Shannon: Is there a difference between venting and complaining?

Zero: I would say it depends on what one’s definition (and manner) of venting is.

Research shows venting tends to perpetuate the problems because it provides what appears to be a momentary reprieve, but it *changes nothing*.

You either change the things you can by actively seeking to solve the problem or you accept what you cannot change and move on.

*Some* people’s manner of venting is actually solution-oriented problem-solving.

“Angry? You could call a friend and vent. You could punch a pillow or break a plate. Or you could even record a rant on a website like RantRampage.com. Unfortunately, you may be doing more harm than good; research has found that venting actually makes your anger worse.”– Fast Company (from this article)

Some people can vent in a productive manner.

My original post is mainly about chronic complainers. There are people who have a disproportionate number of conversations that are simply complaint sessions with no intention of looking for solutions or making changes.

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Taking things for granted

From your relationships with people to the environment to modern day conveniences, the things that are most often taken for granted in the world require effort and energy to simply maintain them, let alone improve them.

Take the time to think about what it would be like if the things you appreciate most in the world became scarce or went missing.

Take the time to think about what you might be taking for granted.

And then take the time to express your gratitude for these things.

Not only will it give you a greater appreciation for the things you take for granted, it’ll remind you that there are people and places in the world where those things no longer exist or never did.

And as a result, not only increase your appreciation for what you have, increase your desire to maintain or improve upon it.

There’s a saying, “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.”

Be sure you take inventory.

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Relationships 101

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Never stop doing the kinds of things that made you and your partner fall in love with each other in the first place.

Many people make the mistake of no longer furthering their efforts once they achieve what they want. Only to then wonder why they lost what they had.

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Yes, learn from your mistakes, but don’t penalize your current partner for past partners offenses.

Every person you meet has different habits and a different history. The past is not the present.

Give people you meet a chance to demonstrate the type of person they are through their actions not someone else’s.

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