First, I’d like to thank the Academy… it’s the Academy, right? Or is it those Emmy people? Tony? Man, I should’ve written this down… I didn’t think I would win!
And I promised myself I wouldn’t cry… wait, Mom, is that a tear? You know if you cry it’s going to make me cry!
Deep breath… I can do this!
Anyway, things are way different now that I’m a TV star. Or as we, in the biz like to call it, a “sensation”.
What do you mean no one’s calling it that?
Ok, well, I’m a star now. It doesn’t matter…if there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a star, it’s that stars can make mistakes.
And if I make a mistake, all I have to do is apologize and go to rehab…or I can just blame my people, people!
Wait, I don’t have any people. Damnit.
I guess I need to apologize and go to rehab. …No, it doesn’t matter than I’m not on drugs. It’s what you do! Don’t you people read the Walmart magazine racks!?
Oh hey, quick shout out to all my fellow TV stars!
Kiefer! – Hey bro!
Bear! – Love you man.
That McDreamy dude – I don’t know you’re name! But what’s your secret?
The Donald – I am “The Zero”, it’s a pleasure to meet you! Find me on twitter!
And, oh yeah, Star Wars Kid (Rock on bro!) Wait, you weren’t on TV! (I get so confused!)
I have so many people to thank!
First, my sponsors… Oh. Wait. Right.
*crickets*
Ok, well, that was awkward. ;)
I’m kidding people.
If you don’t know why I started today’s entry in this ridiculous fashion, it’s because I did an interview with WQAD ABC this morning in Moline, Illinois.
I have no idea how it will be used or if/when it’ll air (was told it would air tonight), but however it turns out, it was an awesome experience. Lots of fun.
Who do we (I) have to thank for this rad experience?
Babette Howard for setting it up (thank you), and Chuck McClurg for doing the interview (thank you). And hopefully WQAD ABC for airing it tonight. Thank you all.
The past couple of days…
Really, not much to report.
I basically made my way from Council Bluffs to DeMoines to Iowa City to Davenport, IA (where, based on a suggestion, I tried the “Taco Pizza” at Happy Joes — which is now firmly situated in the top 3 of the best pizza I’ve ever had).
And this morning I crossed the Mississippi to Moline, Illinois where I did the interview in front of the John Deere Pavilion.
Yesterday, I spent most of my day online at a Starbucks in Iowa City…mainly because I was just too tired to do anything else.
Why tired?
Well, I wish I could tell you some amazing and elaborate story…but truth be told, I’m sleep deprived because it’s been HOT.
See…and you’re probably a step ahead of me at this point, but heat and sleeping in a car do not go well together. Trust me, I am an expert on sleeping in cars at this point (well, at least an expert at sleeping in 4Runners).
And, I guarantee, however hot it is outside, it feels hotter in a car.
This hasn’t been much of a problem until recently. Temperatures have risen steadily since I left the west coast.
Las Vegas would’ve been absolutely unbearable (being in the middle of the desert and all), but I had the luxury of spending a few nights inside (on the floor — so not that luxurious) in an air conditioned apartment.
But now, I’m in middle America…a thousand miles from the ocean in any direction (this has nothing to do with anything, other than it sounds really dramatic) and surrounded by corn. And soybeans.
Last night was the worst it’s been with regard to sleeping in my car in high temperatures (I’ve had rougher nights sleeping, but not due to heat).
I spent the evening drenched in sweat. I considered walking into Walmart (open 24 hours) to buy a portable fan several times… but I was too tired to commit to it (ever been in that state — too tired to do something you know you should do?)
So instead, I lay there in the heat, partially between consciousness and sleep for several hours. :)
I’m not complaining though. Remember, I signed up for this. On some level, I enjoy it… well, “enjoy” may not be the right word (ok, it’s not the right word at all), but you know what I mean.
Bear Grylls probably doesn’t “enjoy” eating raw rancid zebra meat either… you know what I’m saying?
Anyway, tonight, depending on where I end up and what the temperature is, I may just go get that fan. :)
What next?
I’m heading to the Field of Dreams next and making my way to Chicago, where I expect to stay for up to a week before continuing my journey east.
I’ve heard lots of good things about Chicago, so I want to give myself a chance to get to know the area before moving on. Who knows, maybe when I’m done with all this I’ll end up there.
You never know.
[Written from a Panera Bread in Davenport, IA.]
