Razor. Shaving cream. Full on shave-o-rama.
In the bathroom, mind you — not the public area. That would just be weird.
No, it’s not the first time I’ve shaved in Starbucks — but last week it was Walmart. The week before that was a hotel bathroom. Oh — it goes on for a full 481 days since I disconnected.
Of course, early on I shaved in my car — and sometimes I still do — but it’s not quite as convenient when you don’t have running water. And it’s not fun shaving with the cold kind.
But really — all you need is a bowl, some liquid (preferably water, I’ve gotten a nice shave using Vitamin Water — it was all I had once), a razor, and a washcloth.
I’m told you can also use peanut butter, but I’ve never been that desperate for a shave. Plus, unless there was a pack of squirrels nearby to lick my face clean, I think that’d make more of a mess than I’d really be into.
In fact, I’m not really “into” messes at all — or feeling gross, smelling badly, or just poor hygiene in general. So I’m “on it”.
A few weeks ago I bought a cheap $10 electric shaver in Astoria, Oregon to see if that might make the experience of shaving a bit more “normal”. This has nothing to do with Astoria, Oregon — only that I have this weird way of remembering things by where I was at the time.
In any case — this $10 micro shaver that claimed to be “as powerful as a regular sized shaver” was… freakin brutal.
Not only did it not really “work” — it was literally painful to use. Though I do think some of the pain associated with using it was actually trying to get it to work. You know, actually cut facial hair — which it would only do if you brushed it across your face in a way that half trimmed/half tore the hairs off your face.
I walked back into the store — my face looking like it was pecked at by a pack of squirrels wanting more peanut butter — and returned it.
“Is there anything wrong with it?”
“I’d rather be pecked at by a pack of squirrels trying to get peanut butter off my face than deal with this shaver another minute.”
The best shaving days are when I’m at a gym — but I haven’t been near a Bally’s or a 24 Fitness in more than a week — which means I’ve had to find other means.
It’s not so bad though — definitely part of the adventure. Though when I originally thought about the “adventure” I’d be going on as part of this journey, I didn’t envision shaving in Starbucks.
